Seductive Secrets (The Debonair Series Book 3) Page 10

  Immediately his tattoo makes so much sense.

  “She means the world to me and to this day, I’ve kept my vow. No one has ever walked through the door for me to question my oath…until you. I find myself thinking and wanting so much more with you. To put as much effort into you as I have with Jade. I hide my emotions, but I’m really tired of pretending with you. I know I promised to follow your lead, but damn. You’re so off and on. I get it. Opening up leaves you vulnerable. Having someone close to you gives them the power to break you, and for years I’ve lived guarded to protect myself. But there’s something about you that’s waking up my soul. And I need to know if I should continue protecting myself or stick around.”

  I have a daughter… The words are right freaking there, stuck on my tongue, unable to find their way out of my mouth. Tears wet my eyes from his words, the emotions he just poured out, and the trust just handed over to me. I’m scared out of my wits. This is either going to make or break us and I’m certain it’s the latter.

  I take a deep breath with the fear of knowing this could be the last time I’ll ever see him. “I have a da—"

  My words are cut off by his phone ringing and it sets off his frustration. Me? I exhale relief.

  “It can wait,” he says.

  Except, I believe in the universe speaking through coincidences and I’m taking this as the wrong timing to tell him. Plus, I’m genuinely petrified.

  “What if you find out things about me you hate? Or things you don’t want to deal with?”

  Wrinkles form at the edges of his eyes. “Every time you skirt around the conversation, I create scenarios in my mind that make no fucking sense.”

  His phone rings again and he drops his head to the pillow with an aggravated groan.

  I puff a giggle and kiss his cheek. “I’m going to steal your shower while you take that.”

  Hot water pours over my body and down my face, trickling past my stomach in a gravitational rush to my feet. This is the most elegant shower I’ve ever had the opportunity to experience, and believe me, I’ve seen some luxurious places. I’m standing under seven recessed shower heads with controls to make them spray differently if I choose. There’s a huge head above me acting as a gentle waterfall raining down on me. I’m standing in heaven.

  God, I’m such a mom. Excited over a freaking shower.

  I can feel his eyes on me, my skin warming every place his gaze touches. I don’t move, allowing him to fill up on it. I’m not self-conscience. I’m happy with the way my body looks all the way down to some of the gnarly scars my career has given me.

  Keeping my eyes closed while the water pours over me, the touch of his fingers cause goosebumps to scatter across my skin. His hand snakes around my shoulders, soft and easy, loving almost. I moan, tilting my head as they creep up my neck. He steps in behind me, pressing his naked body against me, and nibbles on my neck as he drags his hand over the wet skin of my stomach. He cups my breast, kneading tenderly as he flexes his hips. His dick presses against the skin above my ass and into my back—the down side of being a foot shorter than the man you’re sleeping with.

  “You’re so damn beautiful,” he murmurs, dragging his hands over my body.

  After the tense conversation this morning, I desperately need a distraction. I stretch to my tiptoes and grind my ass against his erection. “Show me.”

  He presses a kiss to my collar bone and it pulls a sigh from me. I moan, leaning back into his chest as he snakes his hands between my legs and caresses my clit. With his other hand, he holds my hips, squeezing and rocking me against his dick, to create a barrage of arousing friction.

  I twist toward him, needing to feel more. Water droplets cover his tan skin, some converging together and creating a stream to meander down his body between the valleys and dips in his abs and then disappearing, scattering down his legs. I trace the hard lines of his pecs, skimming a line to his biceps. His body is incredibly sexy.

  Glancing up, I’m at a loss for words. The water has matted his eyelashes, darkening them and brightening his deep brown eyes. Vehemently, they watch me, squinted as he thinks.

  I stretch to kiss him, grazing my tongue along his jawline and drinking the water from his neck down to his chest. He moans quietly and it causes a vibration under my palms.

  Tenderly, he claims my mouth, resting a hand on my hip. The intimacy in the steam swathes us. His touch is tender. His gaze is passionate.

  I grasp his dick and stroke him as he reaches back between my folds to circle my clit. I drop my head to the tile, sighing as he dips a finger into me and pumps it slowly. My grip tightens around his shaft and I pick up the pace, twisting my wrist and stroking him faster.

  “I need you in me,” I murmur, rocking into his hand.

  He reaches up and grabs a condom from the top of the glass door, rips it open with his teeth, and rolls it on. Lifting my leg to his side, he bends and pushes in.

  “Fucking hell, you feel so good.” His moan rolls out in a devastating sigh.

  He thrusts, shoving me onto my tiptoes, and wraps his other arm around my waist to help balance me. Drive after drive, my body pleads for release.

  “So fucking beautiful,” he gasps.

  He mixes his thrusts, varying between short and teasing to deep and enticing, and my body loves it. I lean back, placing my shoulders on the cold gray tiles as the arch in my back grows, and tilt my hips.

  Scalding pleasure begins zipping through me as his drives become more demanding, propelling me up the wall and my toes off the floor. His fingers dig into the skin of my hip, holding me steady as he continues to power into me.

  A torrid shudder convulses me as I tumble into my orgasm. “Oh my god,” I shamelessly mewl. “Please… Fuck…”

  He picks up the pace, his dick pounding into me as I lose my mind to this orgasm.

  “Dammit,” he hisses as he’s thrown into his release and plunges to the hilt. His words string together as his body trembles and bucks.

  He drops my leg, bracing his palm against the wall, and rests his forehead to mine. “You’re fucking killing me,” he rasps. “Your body does some evil shit to me when you come.”

  I offer a sated smile with my eyes still closed, trying to find the ground from my own euphoria. Sex with him is beyond brilliant.

  He disappears out of the shower and returns without the condom on. Stepping in, he pulls my back to his chest and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin beside my head. The embrace is sweet, heavy with a growing intimacy, as the water continues to rain down on us.

  He breaks the silence and grabs his body wash, squirts some in his hands, and begins washing me.

  “I’m in love with your shower,” I tell him.

  A soft chuckle echoes off the tiles. “I’m glad. I’ll use it to my full advantage to keep you coming around.”

  “You have many things that keep me coming around.”

  He places his mouth beside my ear and whispers low, “I like that.”

  The way he says it feels like there’s more to it and it causes everything in my brain to scramble. Quickly, I change the sensitive subject and fumble for his shampoo. “I’m going to smell like you all day.” I hold it up.

  He grins. “I love being a constant reminder in your day. You screw me over, so it’s only fair.”

  I laugh and then lather his hair as he returns the favor.

  After drying off and dressing, I’m brushing my hair when he steps back behind me and kisses my cheek. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m all ears. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it, but I can guarantee your future with me will be great. Don’t let your past hold you back. Looking behind you only keeps you from moving forward. And I’m standing in front of you being patient.”

  I turn to face him to give more sincerity to my words. “I see you.”

  He searches my eyes. “Does it have anything to do with your parents?”

  I exhale, growing aggravated. “Why are you so interested in my life?” I snap.
>
  Surprised, his eyes narrow. “Because I want to be in it.”

  “My past isn’t pretty, Max. When I’m ready to talk, I will. Please. Just leave it alone.” My tone thickens with disdain.

  “Neither is mine, but I’m not holding it against you. I’m not allowing mine to stop me from falling in love with you.”

  Shocked by his words, my breath gets sucked into my throat.

  “Did you ever go through grief counseling as a child?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I focused on other things that helped me. Ryan and Miranda helped too. I went through a rebellious stage, but it was short lived with the consequences I live with.”

  “Jade suffered from PTSD and finding her any help at such a young age proved to be difficult. My parents put us both in therapy. I found out I was more traumatized than what I thought.” He tucks a finger under my chin and raises my face to his. “Even if you feel okay, sometimes it’s good to talk. If it haunts you and stops you from living life, there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help. If you’re worried I’d look at you any differently, don’t be. Mental health is important, Avery.”

  “I’m fine, Max,” I grit.

  I can’t stand to be pushed into a corner and interrogated like I’m incompetent to know what I need or how to handle it. My parents aren’t a subject I take lightly. There’s a wound in my heart that’s gaping. When I’m ready to talk, it’ll all come babbling out.

  “If you’d like, I can give you information on resources for—”

  “I said I’m fine, Max.” I stare my anger into him.

  “I didn’t mean to…” he trails off.

  “I know. Just…” I sigh. “I’m not ready to talk about everything. Leave it alone. I’ll talk when I’m ready.” I glance away. “I need to get going.”

  He closes his eyes. “I care a lot about you, Avery,” he says softly and leaves me in the bedroom alone to feel a mound of guilt.

  Max

  I used to give Easton hell about dating someone so simple. Zach and I would team up on him because we all liked a little flashy. I owe Easton one hell of an apology. Avery is incredibly simple, yet so complex. She may have her personal demons with scabbed over wounds, but she’s sensational in many ways.

  She doesn’t give a damn that my pockets are deep. Not at all. I’ve stepped out of my normal dating realm and into the land of the unknown, only to be greeted by this short and beautiful, spunky and gracious, witty and charming woman who knocks me off my feet.

  And I like it.

  Too damn much.

  A few days ago, I pushed the wrong buttons with her, and ever since I’ve been kissing ass to make it up to her. Not that I feel I need to, but because I want to. I went too far. I’m so uncertain where she stands with me, and so certain where I am with her. I just want to be able to heal all her hurt and make her happy—something she deserves.

  Me: What is it about you?

  I shoot her a quick text before heading into Easton and Zoey’s place. It’s the very question plaguing my mind. Love has no bounds, and it’s moving in on me like a tornado dropped from the night sky. I’ve never experienced this.

  Zoey’s bright smile greets me as I step into their place.

  “Hey.” I hug her neck and kiss the side of her head.

  Easton’s on the couch and I tip my chin at him. “What’s up, man?”

  I grab a beer from the fridge and take a seat at the other end of the couch. He tosses a folder at me. “I’ve got your stuff you asked for. Complete upgrade to the winery’s entire security system adding twelve cameras to cover inside and outside of all the complexes.”

  I flip through the papers. “Will this be easy to tie into whatever the hell I plan to do with the land?”

  He nods. “I’ll be upgrading you to a new panel complete with a new monitoring system. This time you won’t have two systems.”

  My phone chimes.

  Avery: Could be my remarkable smile. ;)

  Me: I hope I’m a contributor to it.

  “I’m assuming by that shit eating grin that’s the chick you’ve been spending time with.” He nods at the phone in my hand. “Tell me about her.”

  “Taking it day by day,” I say.

  He leans back and steeples his fingers. It’s the only way he can think. He hums. “You have no idea how she feels, do you?”

  I blow a laugh through my nose.

  “You’re supposed to be the emotional one out of all of us. In tune with your emotions and shit. Have you not talked to her?”

  When I was a teenager, I cried when Easton’s neighbor’s dog got run over and died. I watched that shit unfold in front of me, and it shook me to the core. When Zach was dating Tiffany, I tried talking sense into him because I knew he was cheating on her. I knew he was better than that. When he wanted to party, I tried coaching him into focusing on his future. Apparently, all that counts as sensitive and “in tune with my emotions.” When Easton was in the train wreck of a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, I tried being there. That too counts as some no-ball asshat shit.

  “Dude. Really?” I glance at him like he’s ignorant.

  He grins. “You’re falling for her.”

  My phone chimes again.

  Avery: You do tend to brighten my day.

  I glimpse up to him. “I like her, yeah.”

  He scoots to the end of the cushion and clasps his hands. “I know that shit with Nicole—”

  “High school bullshit. That was years ago. Irrelevant today,” I interrupt him.

  “You didn’t let me finish.” He grimaces. “I know that shit with Nicole scarred you to keep yourself protected and then when you allowed yourself to feel again, Jennifer burned your ass up. Don’t categorize this one. I want you happy. You’ve told me before you’re content with faceless sex, but being that I’m a made man, I know what’s over here.”

  I smirk. “And I’m the emotional one?”

  He lifts a shoulder. “You’re rubbing off on me.”

  “I’d say Zoey has you becoming a better man.”

  “I won’t deny that.”

  “Don’t worry about me. My past hurt has only grown me.”

  He looks to the papers in my hands. “Speaking of growing, you have any ideas what you want to do with the extra land?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve got a few ideas, but nothing final yet.”

  Just like that, our sensitive talk is over. Easton is only emotional with Zoey. She’s told Jade multiple times how “sweet his heart is.” And it doesn’t surprise me. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeves, covered up, of course. It only took the right person to bring it out of him.

  Me on the other hand? I’ve never been scared to open up. Not to my boys. Not to my girlfriends. I guess I learned the hard way that tomorrow is never promised. When Jade was in the hospital after falling into the ice, I sat there, scared out of my damn mind that I would never be able to tell her I loved her again. I’d never be able to pull her pigtails or intimidate her boyfriend when she was old enough to have one. I learned through her to be brave and not be scared of my feelings. I was taught a hard lesson about being tough and honest.

  Jade says I’m able to hide my emotions, that even my eyes don’t give anything away. I say she’s not paying close enough attention. Eyes are the windows to the soul.

  Avery

  Maddi’s little cheeks are red from the cold and her frustrations. Her hair is braided and tucked under her favorite beanie with her light pink helmet secure on the top of her head as she watches me tighten her foot into the binding of her little board.

  I tap her boot. “You good?”

  Instead of wiggling her foot, her entire body moves and she nods.

  She woke up this morning wanting to go snowboarding. She begged me to take her and only after I agreed did she laser me with those baby blue puppy eyes and asked if Raven could come.

  What does a mother do?

  I buckled.

  We drove an hou
r and a half to EchoLove Mountain and have been at it for so long, Raven gave up and went to the lodge. Maddi loves to snowboard, but by all means, the girl wasn’t blessed with balance. She can’t stay up for shit. She gets overzealous and thinks she should be able to do everything that took me years and thousands of hours to practice to perfect. I started her when she was younger, letting her ride on my board between my legs as I held her. She loved it so much that I had to buy her a board. She loved it at first until it got too hard and then she quit for a while. Then one day out of the blue, she said she wasn’t ready to give up.

  At least I can say she’s determined.

  She heel slides for a few feet, gaining her confidence before twisting her body over the board and moving with the side of the hill. She refuses to use the learner’s route and has chosen the beginner’s route, which isn’t that much different, just slightly steeper with a few more “bumps.” The hill she’s on isn’t that big, and when she rides it for twenty feet, she acts like she’s tackled the steepest down-hill ride this mountain has to offer.

  Unfortunately, she’s only nailed it a couple of times.

  I keep it slow, riding beside her. She glances over her shoulder to me with a smile that could guide you through the darkest nights.

  “Look where you want to go. Not at me.” I remind her. “Your eyes lead your body.”

  She wobbles as she hits a small bump before finding her balance again. Although we’re only going about five miles an hour, by her face, you’d think we’re doing a hundred straight down and it makes my heart smile at her excitement. I remember being right where she’s at, adrenaline and fear leading me to love it and be terrified at the same time. And by the end of the day, I felt I deserved a gold trophy.

  Her arms are straight out to her side. Her legs are stiff.

  “Loosen up,” I shout.

  She hits another bump and falls forward, tucking her arms and hitting her forearms. I slide beside her as she rolls over to her back, pulling her legs to flip her board over. She lets out an overdramatic, overly disappointed sigh and slings her arms out to her side.